Everything was going great. The crowd was heavy the music was dope. And this dumb bimbo came out of no where and sat om our VIP couch. I was like damn bitch that's extremely gangster. But anyways Neveen got her to get up and move. A little while after Hanna and the same girl started exchanging words and hanna decide that she was going to give this girl a bath with her drink. I got really pissed at hanna because I felt like there was no need to through the drink. I immediately felt the tension between that stupid bimbo girl and her wack ass clique against us. So I pulled Neveen to the side and said let's go. Neveen turned around to hanna and said let's just keep on dancing. And that's when the unthinkable happened....Darlene turned into super woman and flew across the air and slammed down on top of the bimbo girl. And as if that wasn't enough the bimbos boyfriend and his friends were trying to fight Darlene. And I was like hell no. So I started pushing them away from Darlene and screaming at them to get away. But they kept insisting on fighting......Well we all know what ended up happening next......So the police showed up and they decided that they were going to separate me from everyone else so they could question me. They were so mean and disrespectful. There was one officer who was chewing tobacco the whole time and he just kept insisting that I was the one who hit some random guy over the head with a glass pitcher. They told me that every thing's going to be fine and to wait patiently while they ask everyone else questions. Hanna and Neveen kept trying to explain what happened but the police clearly didn't care about what they had to say. A little while after the officer chewing tobacco came in and said to me "your under arrest, anything you say or do will be used against you in the court of law"..I was like"yo,I didn't do anything roll back the tape in the club, ask somebody I was trying to break up the fight". They didn't care about what I had to say they obviously had their minds made up. They basically told me that I could do this the easy way or the hard way. So I shrugged and stood there looking at the officer like do what you have to do he then spit out the tobacco right at my foot and slammed me against the wall and hand cuffed me.They took me to the prescient and I thought for sure that I was going to get released. In the back of my head it was all just a misunderstanding I kept hoping that somehow someway I would be allowed to go back home....The police were disgusting they made comments about my weave and made inappropriate sexual comments about my chest, It was so horrible and uncomfortable I felt like I was caught in a nightmare. They stuck me in a holding cell that stunk so bad. There was urine everywhere and they insisted I sit down but I refused not to. I had to stay up and alert at all times. Ha I ended up standing for a whole two and a half hours When one of the arresting officers met with me he kept trying to make me admit to hitting the guy over the head. He told me he would understand if it was just by accident and I was trying to belp me friend. He didn't want me to write a statement because he said that it really wouldn't matter and he said that I will definitely be going to jail........It really didn't hit me until I was stripped of my jewelry,stripped searched and fingerprinted. I mean you would think taking a mugshot would be harder than fingerprints. But it wasn't. I just flashed back to all of the job applications and screenings I have attended in confidence because I had never had any type of criminal history and I just broke down. I was certain that my life was over . I kept hearing that "It's a misdemeanor charge you'll be out by monday." It wasn't until I stepped inside of my cell that I heard otherwise. The girls were like "girl, who the hell told you, you getting out by monday? girl, monday is a holiday so that means your not getting out of here until wednesday or thursday." I was like what?! I mean I took a look around me it was a dark cold room with about 20 bunk beds and two toilets and one sink. I stood up and couldn't move for awhile. Until A girl named Tricia pointed to an open bunk and said to me "girl get comfy and from what I heard your charge is, assault with a deadly weapon you better sit down and relax cause your going to be in here a long long time".
Jail was hell. God I never imagined me not being able to be in control of what I ate or when I showered. It was a living nightmare. And to make matters worse I ended up fighting with some of the other cell mates. One of them kept insisting that I smell her unused frangranced maxi pad. I was like bitch are u insane? Then one afternoon I woke up and she had some of them lined up around my head I nicely came down from the top of my bunk bed and asked her why would she do this after I told her not to, She started saying that she's from the west side and she don't give a f and what was I going to do about it..I looked at her and stepped up right to her face and slapped the shit out of her. After that she slept near the door and got rid of all of her pads too....
So finally after days of being in jail, and hours of being in a crazy inhumane court house I was told that I was free to go and that the DA decided to throw away my case.I was sooo relieved. I felt like I had won something amd justice came to me. And most importantly I was sooo happy that I stuck things out and not have my mom waste 6,000 to bail me out.
This episode really BURNED me. Honestly. I NEVER KNEW NEVEEN HAD SO MUCH HATRED FOR ME. It's funny because I would have expected that from Darlene or even Hanna....But deep down I knew she was fucked up and that's why I went off on her ass. It wasn't about the damn hot iron it was about the "friendship" I thought we had. I mean if the roles were reversed Neveen would have been mad at me too. I mean it's understandable why I was so upset. for god's sake I was in jail innocently! Neveen talked alot of shit about who's fault it was and it's like ok it's not your fault Neveen then why the hell are you so defensive. I mean I was supposed to be your friend. I called you my PIC (partner In crime) I would have never ever done that to you ever!! It's funny to me that the moment I am gone for one second my name becomes chewing gum and you chew on me and spit me out. But it's all good. Because "WHO GOD BLESS, NO MAN CURSE!!!" And I am a strong black woman and I know that I did NOT do anything to be put in jail. And I know that my heart is clean and I never had any type of hatred or animosity towards you or Hanna. God bless you if you can sleep at night if you honestly feel like I was in the wrong and you were right. The fucking oscar goes to you for your performance in playing to be my friend. You couldn't even say hello hi I'm sorry about what happened nothing huh? I will levae you to Karma. And she will fix your ass. God says revenge is his. How dare you talk about it's my fault that I went to jail? What kind of fucking friend are you? What the hell made you so damn cold blooded and relentlessly bitter? It's sad because my instincts sort of let me down with you. Usually they protect me but they didn't warn me that the one person I felt the closest to hated me with a nasty passion. I have one question though so this whole time were you friends with me because you didn't fit in with the other girls? Or were you friends with me because you needed protection?....(shaking my head)*I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT THE WOMEN THAT I HAVE MET WHILE IN JAIL, I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU. I HONESTLY BELIEVE IN MY HEART THAT GOD WANTED ME TO MEET ALL OF YOU. YOUR STORIES INSPIRED ME AND TOUCHED ME IN WAYS THAT MADE ME LOOK AT MYSELF IN WAYS I HAVE NEVER DONE. STAY STRONG AND STAY CALM. BECAUSE REMEMBER YOU MIGHT BE INNOCENT BUT YOU MIGHT ALSO FIT THAT DESCRIPTION..ALSO TO THE LAPD AND THE DAY AFTER CLUB I WILL SEE YOUR ASSES IN COURT!!!!!!Peace I love you allthanks so much for your supportreal bad gurl,Tanisha
What a wild ride. I just wanted to thank all of you out there. Especially in the last few days your letters and comments have really meant a lot to me.
Some people have said that I shouldn't have left because that was what the girls wanted. Well, it was what I wanted as well. I know it doesn't show the passage of time, but I actually stayed along about a week after they had all confronted me on the blog. However, I don't like doing things that make me unhappy and staying in a house where I was hated falls in that category. Yeah, I did some fucked up stuff and I was shady but I don't think anything I did was so horrible that I needed to stick around and be screamed at. I will never regret leaving. I think the girls were glad I left as well. Everyone's happy. I also don't think it was a sign of weakness. It was a sign of self preservation. Even with all the mistakes and fuck ups I made, I think I am actually a good person. And I am very lucky. Who else gets to learn so much about themselves and actually watch themselves living life through another person's eyes? Not many people. This experience really taught me so much and it helped me grow a tougher skin. I know that I am beautiful, intelligent and strong. More so today than ever before in my life.
And all the little childish insults that people throw at me and write about only make me laugh. People who are so hateful and jealous are really just sad inside and need to become better people. But it's not my job to point out all of your flaws. You already know them, because you have to live with them. How awful for you.
I can say that since the show I have done a lot of work on myself. I am figuring out who I am more and more each day, and I know what I really want in my life. And the most important thing to me is people in my life that I can trust and love as much as they love me.
I was really mad at Cordelia after I watched the episode. But I still consider her a friend. This all happened in November so a lot of time has gone by and a lot of things have occured. I think she has a good soul, but she is not a bitch to fuck with. We both live in the bay area, so we have been watching a lot of the episodes together. During that time we have talked a great deal about what happened in the bad girls house. I think it changed us a lot.
I never talked to the other girls, but I really don't hate any of them. I believe that what people say and think about you is about them and you really can't take anything personally in this world. If you do, you will just get eaten alive inside. And no one needs that.
Hugs, Kisses, Naughty Wishes
