So its been a while since I wrote last and so much has happened in my life. The reunion happened, the show wrapped up and I found myself on the verge of new things and a new life.
I have been living in the bay area for about 7 months now and its time to move again.
Let me just say that this whole experience was not an easy one. Its hard sometimes to see yourself on tv, all your flaws and mistakes, all your pain and joy exposed. Its also so odd to have people you don't even know judge and criticize you for the stupidest reasons. But I say, if you are so ignorant to think you know me, it just proves your opinion doesn't matter. Now that everything is over and done with its almost funny at what a big deal it seemed at the time. In all truth, it was just a moment in my life that taught me some lessons. Now I get to look forward to so much more importnat things.
This last week or so has been really hard for personal reasons. I have a had a lot of drama lately, almost BGC level drama lol.
Basically I found myself in a really bad situations and really had to lean on friends for support. I have learned the most valuable lessons and I really think the last week has changed my perspective on life. I realize that friends and loved ones, people who care about you are really the only thing in life that matters. That and your health.
Its so cliche, but if you don't have people who love you, you have nothing. Purses, clothes, makeup, shoes, none of that shit matters for shit. If I hadn't had friends to help me through the last week, I don't know what I would have done. I have gotten through some really hard stuff, and I am a much stronger person now than I used to be. But without love in your life, nothing really matters. All my stuff just held me back and made me see how unimportant it was. I have shit I own that just ends up owning me. Materials don't mean anything. I seriously don't have to desire to shop or buy things.
I used to be awful about this. I would date a guy to see what he would buy me. I would have designer everything. If a guy didn't buy me something, I would get pissed and be a bitch. It was totally evil, and it was completely shallow. But I guess I felt like if a guy didn't buy me shit it meant he didn't really care about me or value me. It never made me happy really. And now all I have are boxes of crap I don't need. Boxes of crap I am owned by.
I would rather have a guy want to spend his whole day with me than a single cent.
Its funny how the shittiest experiences can be the most powerful. I wish that so many bad things didn't have to happen, but I think maybe they are meant to teach us. I am not a victim in all of this shit, I am strong and I am a survivor. And I can't wait to live my life and see the changes in me help me flourish and thrive.
Love is all you need.
P.S It might be possible that Lyric might be pregnant! I'll give you updates when I find further news about that.
2 comments:
Do we get her blog's address?
The only way you can see her blog is by having her myspace. Her myspace might be private I'm not sure. She makes blogs on her myspace.
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